Mark's dad
by Skeledog Lover
Summary: This is for any S.E.Hinton Fan, duh. If you have never heard of any person named Mark in the outsiders that's because there was no other category for this.


This is not from the outsiders though it is based on a S.E.Hinton book. I won't tell you till the end. Please review on this. It's my first fic and I want to know if it's any good. Oh, yeah. There's no real chapters. This is it.

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I was reading the paper. Another shooting happened near to my block. Six kids was killed and a whole bunch of people were hurt. That didn't bother me none, I was Anthony Carter. Nothing ever bothers me. I live in the roughest part of town. The places where the worst deals went down, where people's throats were cut every night. Where there's always a gang fight, or a bar fight, or a cat fight. But, like I said, that don't bother me none.

My brother just got home with one of his friends, they was just bumming around. That was one of the only things to do around here, fight or bum around. There was more, but most of it could get you arrested. I told John that if he ever got arrested I would bail him out just to beat the tar out of him. As a result he kept out of trouble. He never was a bad kid but living in our neighborhood might turn just about anyone into a hood. He and his idiot friend, had been in another fight. They were cut up and bruised. They fought just for fun with some other kids around town, mostly somebody I knew's younger brothers. They fought pretty sloppily though, and fighting like that could get them killed one day. John was one of the few things I gave a damn about. The state would take him away if I didn't take care of him.

Our mom went away when we were young because dad kept hitting her. He ran out a few years ago and I hadn't seen him since. I found out after he left that he had been hitting John too. He was too scared of dad to tell me before. I swore that if he ever came back I would kill him.

I left John and Steve alone at the house while I went over to my girl's house. She was a sweet little thing. Carly was her name. She had this long, soft, brunette hair. I never did like blondes, too common. I liked someone with some personality, who didn't go into the blonde craze. I had a lot of girlfriends-blonde, that is- like that. They were like robots, almost.

She was sitting on her windowsill, staring out at the people below, when I got there. She always did stuff like that. Said that watching the world pass by interested her. I didn't much get it, but I never bugged her about it either. I looked out the window to see what she was looking at. There was a mugging going on, right there. It was five guys jumping these two black guys. They were trying to protect themselves, but it was useless. I stopped watching after that. I didn't really like watching blacks get beat up. There wasn't really a point. I didn't understand why people ganged up on hippies either. They didn't even fight back, they take it. It seemed like a waste.

She stopped watching when the switchblades came out. She sat down next to me on her bed. We were in her room. Her parents trusted me. (Some of the few parents who did.)

We was making out for a while. Her eyes were a blue color when I came in but they changed from then to a bright purple. She had these really interesting eyes. They changed colors. When we went out they would change red, at least, around my friends. That meant she was angry. She told me she wasn't really angry at my friends but that she had to act like it to get them to stop trying to pick her up. One guy didn't get the hint and she blew up at him. He still had the scars to prove it. Carly was no pushover. She was a great fighter and dug fighting almost as much as I did.

"I'll call you." I said. I kissed her one more time. "I love you."

"I love you too." She said, quietly.

I really did love her. I had been going with her the longest I had gone with anyone. I hadn't ever told any other girl I loved her.

I got home and John was asleep on the couch. I didn't bother bringing him to his room. Once he was out, he was stuck where he was.

I left early the next morning to go to work. I worked in a liquor store. I was only seventeen but I looked older. This helped convince my boss that the I.D. card I had, saying I was twenty one, wasn't fake.

Once I was off I bought some rum and brought it home. This time when I got home, John wasn't there yet. I wasn't worried though. He always went to a friend's house after school. He came in an hour after I had. I was about to go to Carly's house, then maybe catch one of those skin flicks, downtown. I always had a taste for those.

"Can I come with you?" John said. He gave me one of those puppy dog looks. I was wishing he would stop, but I guess he couldn't help it. He always looked like that. A light little puppy, with a lot of fight in him, for such a small pup. He had long, blonde hair. I don't know where he got it though. Both our parents had black hair. Mom's bluish-black, and Dad's reddish-black. I had his hair. I was wishing I didn't, we were nothing alike. I know I would never hurt Carly.

"Yeah, alright. None of your little friends tagging along, though."

"Okay."

We went over to Carly's house. I opened the door and saw her fly across the room. At least that's what it seemed like. I saw her dad at the other end of the room, his eyes blazing. I went over to Carly. She was lying still, against the wall. There was a bruise on her cheek. John looked like he was about to faint. I don't know why. From what he told me, he got beat all the time. I guess he wasn't used to seeing violence this close. I told him if he ever saw a fight to hitail it out of there, but mostly he only fights with his buddies anyway. That was fine with me.

Carly's dad looked like he was over with it and didn't bother tangling with me to get to his daughter. I was bigger than him. I felt like taking him on right then and there but I couldn't take my eyes off of Carly. Finally she opened her eyes and sat up, leaning against the wall. Her eyes were red. She watched her father leave the room then they turned a purple color. She looked at me. They were only purple around me. I helped her onto the couch and told John to quit crying. He was pretty shaken up. More shaken than Carly, even. She wasn't shaken easily and still didn't look too shook. I put my hand on her shoulder. She winced a bit. I rolled up her sleeve gently. There were some really bad bruises on her arm. I went into the kitchen and got some ice. She hadn't moved. John was talking to her, saying he knew what she was feeling but she wasn't listening. She was staring at the blank wall. I wasn't too surprised. She spent most of her time thinking, or reading. She winced again as I held the ice to her arm but didn't stop staring at the wall. I couldn't tell if she was still thinking about what had just happened or the fact that I was there to see it. I didn't stay too much longer, but John stayed a few more minutes then caught up with me.

I bought both of us tickets to that night's show. It wasn't too good, compared to the other ones I'd seen. But John, his jaw was dropped and his eyes were wide. I couldn't help laughing a little. He liked the movie. I asked him what he thought after.

"It was alright." He said, indifferently. I could tell he liked it, though.

I stopped over at Michael's house on the way back. He was watching t.v. with his little sister. She was really watching, he was just bugging her. I saw things straight and no matter how many times he said his sister was annoying, I knew he cared about her as much as I cared about my little brother.

"Hey, Anthony. How's life treating you?"

"As good as it can in this neighborhood."

"How's Carly?"

I froze. I wondered wether I should bother him about it. He had gone with her before, and still cared about her, but not that way.

"Not so good, man." I said, leaning on the wall by the couch.

"Really? She was pretty happy when I talked to her yesterday."

"It was her old man." I said. Reliving the moment, seeing her lying there, motionless. "He was clobbering her around a lot. She was hurt pretty bad."

"She alright?"

"Yeah. She'll be fine."

He let out a relieved sigh. "Always was a strong chick." He said, lighting a cigarette. He offered me one. I took one from him and lit up. We were all there in silence for a while, just smoking. Not doing a thing. I was still a little worried about Carly, but Mike was right, she was tough. She could handle anything. If the kids hadn't been there I would have talked to Mike more about it, but I don't like being seen as if I was going soft. Especially not by my little brother.

I went to one of those bar/pool halls later that night with Carly. Her eyes were red as usual, but I thought sometimes, that I would see them flash purple for a second when she looked at me, then back to red. Those were some crazy eyes she had. Real nice though. John was over in the bowling alley down the street with some of his buddies, probably raving about the skin flick. I bought him some of those skin mags too, just to keep them busy while me and Carly had a good time. A few guys had tried to push up on her but when they saw me they backed up-I have a pretty good build- either that or the red of her eyes. Not many people around knew her. We only met because I was one of the only guys who survived going to talk to her when her eyes were like that. Ever since then they turned purple when she saw me.

I got in a little trouble on the way to pick John up. It was one in the morning. Chances are he was at one of his friend's houses. He didn't like being alone at home too long. I was walking with Carly. She lived pretty close. We was just talking. This guy comes reeling out of an alleyway. We were both immediately on guard. His eyes were blank, as if no one was there. Either he'd been doing grass or boozing like there was no tomorrow. He came staggering over to us. He tried putting his hand on Carly but she slapped his hand away. He tried again and this time I stepped in between them and shoved him away. This threw him off pretty well. He was really out of it. He came back, more threateningly this time. He took a swing at me. I blocked it pretty easily. He disappeared back into the alley for a second then came at me with a piece of pipe. I didn't even get why this guy was trying to take me down. I decided to play around with him for a little bit, but when that pipe missed my face by an inch I started in on him. I pinned him and slugged what little sense he had out of him. He was a bloody mess. The cops would find him later but for tonight he was half-dead on the side of the street. I heard a siren coming from a block away. I guess one of the neighbors called us in. Me and Carly started running. She had been arrested once for assault with a deadly weapon. That was long before this. If I got arrested they could take John away and send him to some foster home so I had to stay out of trouble just as much as he did.

We were at her house, panting for breath and laughing really hard. My side was starting to hurt, so I tried stopping. After a few more stabbing pains, I did. I kissed Carly, said goodbye, then headed back home, figuring John would come home when he wanted. I wasn't gonna check every one of his little friend's houses looking for him. The next morning I was wishing I would have.

"He did what?" I asked as one of the kids moms told me what happened over the phone.

"He was caught taking my car out for a drive. I was asleep and the boys got my keys and started driving. They were all brought to juvenile hall for a day. He should be back by now."

Just then he came shuffling through the door. He had a hand across his head and was moaning softly.

"I got him." I said.

"Okay." She said and hung up.

He was a strange greenish color, and then, without any warning, he threw up on the floor. I helped him up when he was done. He had been drinking. I never told him he couldn't but I didn't think I had to. I figured I would yell at him tomorrow. Right then, he was too sick to see straight. I brought him to his room, pulled off his shoes and pulled the covers him. He passed out when he laid down on the bed and was asleep for the rest of the day.

I went over to Michael's house while John was asleep. His little brother had been part of it too and was in bed with a hangover so we were real quiet. Mike had a big family. Five brothers and three sisters, and his parents wanted more! They could afford it too. Somehow they managed to afford it. Although I was struggling just to keep food on the table for me and John.

"I can't believe it." Mike complained. "I come home with a hangover and my parents yell at me till my ears are ringing. He comes home with one and they tell him to go sleep it off. Man, being a kid is great."

"That's just how it goes. Gotta live and let live."

"Yeah, well, my life sucks. I'm babysitting these little brats while my parents go out. I'd pay them all to leave me the hell alone."

He didn't mean it. He doesn't mean half of what he says. He was just having a bad day, as usual. I left a few minutes after to see my buddy, Kevin. Nobody calls him Kevin anymore though, except me. I don't think half the people he knows know his real name. He had gone with just about every girl in the neighborhood. They had a lot of names for him. None of them are worth repeating.

"Hey, Tony." Kevin called from behind the counter.

His dad owned one of the bars around town. Everybody I know goes there just to hang out mostly, but you gotta buy something while you're there. It was a rule.

"I haven't seen you here in a while." He said.

"Had a lot to do. Can I get a beer?"

"Can I see your I.D.?" He said, winking.

He knew the I.D. was fake but he checked it anyway. His dad wouldn't let him help out no more if he didn't. He gave me my beer and came out from the counter to go hunt some action. There was only two girls there he hadn't gone with yet. He strolled over to them and with that mouth of his I was surprised they didn't send him back sooner. Once you got him talking there was no stopping whatever trash came out. I heard him recite one hell of a dirty limerick, but by the end both of those girls were laughing their heads off. No surprise though, they were blonde. One of them had dark roots, like most of them around here. You couldn't find one natural blonde for miles, at least that's how it seems. He nodded for me to come over. I just shook my head. He shrugged and walked out of the bar with the girls. He was a real player. Chances are he would be passed out at one of their houses by tonight. That's just the way he works. I sat there staring at the counter a little longer when this guy knocks me off of the seat. I would've killed that punk if he wasn't a friend of mine. Almost everybody around here is. I couldn't walk more than a block without running into somebody I knew. I jumped up.

"How's the weather Charlie?"

"Bout' as good as it can get around here." He replied numbly.

"That bad?"

"Really out of it. Blue with blonde and all the fixings."

In case you didn't realize we ain't really talking about the weather. That was our code for are there any good broads around here? Usually there weren't but that didn't bother either of us. We both had decent girls, but it was good to keep the score.

I spent the next day yelling at John for coming home so sick. He saw it coming though, he had been avoiding me all day.

"What's the matter with you, huh? Have you lost your mind? What were you thinking taking their car out? They could have sent you to a boy's home, you know that?"

He was trembling. I knew I couldn't hit him. I tried but I just couldn't. I'd be no better than dad if I did, and we're nothing alike. Instead I shook him a little to scare him. When he started bawling, I stopped. I can't stand to see him cry. I hadn't cried in years. Not since dad left us to go pursue a different life. That's what he told me he was doing. But, like I said, I see things straight. He was leaving his miserable life to go live somewhere better. I guess he was tired of taking care of me and John. He hardly even did that. I would come home smashed up half of the time and drunk the other half. I was in bad shape.

It sure felt like the good old days that Saturday. I was going out with Carly and double dating with Mike. He got into a fight with his date and she left. Carly had to go early to do something so it was just me and Mike now. We was trying to find something to do. We walked around a while, then started having some fun. We would go cuss out random people. We started with cars that were passing then people on the street. We started messing with the street signs. Telling people they were pointing the wrong way. This one cop saw us and started after us. We started running and he was running after us. He was coming in for the kill. Me and Mike went different directions and the cop started after _me_. I have nothing against the fuzz if they ain't chasing me, but right then I hated that guy. I reached a dead end and was caught between the wall and the cop. I was wondering what was going to happen to John after he got me. Maybe they would send him to a friends house to live. Maybe he would be sent out of the country. The cop started towards me. I was wishing Mike would come along, he's good when it comes to fighting. That cop was bigger than me and we would need two of us to take him down. But there was no one there. I was scared stiff, I really was. But, I was keeping a calm face and a firm stance. He wasn't gonna take me down easily.

Then I realized, it was a soc. Now I was really scared. They jump us people on the east side just because we're poorer or they think it's fun. They came up with a name for us too, greaser. Cops usually have limits- socs don't hold back. Three other guys came from the other alleyway. They were dressed real sharp- as if beating up a greaser was an occasion. I still kept calm but I was sweating. It was soaking my shirt in the back. They came forward. I didn't even know these guys, why were they coming after me? I backed away a bit and my back slammed against the wall.

"Hey grease." The guy who had been chasing me said. "We don't like no greasers on our streets." His voice was raspy and low. He cussed me out silently. I stood there, trying to find a way out.

Then those other three guys pinned me and this guy started punching me without stopping. I was getting dizzy and tried to get loose but it was useless. I was pleading in my mind that someone would come along but there was no one. So I took the beating, though not entirely quiet about it. I'm guessing they would have stopped sooner if I didn't keep mouthing off to them but I couldn't help it. Finally I passed out. Everything went black. The last thing I saw was those guys laughing as I went under.

When I came to, my whole body was sore. I could barely move but I wasn't in the alley anymore. It was light. I saw John, looking at me with those puppy eyes. I tried to sit up but there was a stabbing pain in my chest and I had to lay back down. I was home. Did Mike bring me all that way? I groaned then looked around. Mike was there too, sitting down next to John.

"Wow, man." He said. "You look awful."

I couldn't respond. My chest was just as sore as the rest of me and it was killing me to breathe. I laid there a little longer. Finally I sat up, ignoring the pain in my chest.

"Maybe you should take it easy." John said. He seemed really worried.

"This is nothing." I said, weakly. I tried standing up but my legs gave out and I fell to the floor. I pushed myself up but John and Mike had to help me back to the bed. John went to get some aspirin. I couldn't remember what happened too well, but it must have been something big for me to be hurting this bad. Mike filled me in about the cop chasing us. Then memory came flooding back and I remembered those guys cornering me.

"He wasn't a cop." I said to Mike.

"What?" He asked. I guess he thought I was still half out of my mind.

"He wasn't a cop." I repeated. "He would've given up after the first block."

"Maybe . . . "He said, unsurely.

"There were other guys with him. They must've followed him from somewhere."

"There were other guys?"

I nodded. My head started swimming and I fell back onto the bed. The ceiling turned all sorts of colors, then I half blacked out. I could hear everything going on around me but I couldn't see them, my eyes had closed. I couldn't move my body. It was like I was trapped. I tried to speak but it came out like a groan. I finally just relaxed and fell asleep.

The next days were horrible. I was in bed with an aching body and high fever. I had my ribs taped up and some stitches in my cheek. I gave a fake name, so I wouldn't have to pay for it. I know that was wrong but I didn't have enough money left to pay them. I had a lot of nightmares about the beating in the alleyway. I didn't know why I was so shaken up. I had been beaten like this before.

"Maybe it has to do with something else." Carly said when I told her this. She had been to see me almost every day that week. "Maybe violence in the family or someone close to you."

I knew she was talking about that time I saw her old man almost kill her. But, I knew she would never say it to my face. I thought she could have been right. I hated my dad after everything he did. I even wondered if I had been at home more, if he would have started hitting me too. I always wondered why John would beg for me to stay at home when we were littler. Now I knew. I was still angry at him for that but why would it only affect me now? The old man's been gone for years and he ain't coming back. I been wondering about stuff like that lately.

She continued. "Was there any violence close to you?"

"How long have you lived here?"

She laughed. "I mean family things."

"You count as family?" I asked, quietly.

She smiled. Really, I was trying to avoid answering. I had never told her about anything that went on in our family and why I was forced to take care of my brother. Would you want to share that? We were both quiet a while after that. I was staring at the ceiling and she was watching me. Finally I got up, put on my jacket and went outside.

"Where are you going?" Carly asked, as I left.

"Taking a walk." I replied.

She dropped it at that. I had to clear my mind. That night was pretty cold and the frost of the air was numbing my face. I was out for a few hours, despite the cold. I stood on the roof of one of the buildings close to here. I couldn't help it if someone was inside. He was threatening to call the cops so I hopped onto the next roof. That guy wasn't home. I stared at the moon for a while. It was a clear night. The moon was glowing white. I was wondering what was happening to everything. What kind of life is it where you're forced to grow up so fast? I thought about it for a while. All my friends are close, John's alright, and Carly is, well, Carly. Same as always. But something seems different, something's changed. I dropped the matter. Nothing's changed. I thought. Things are just plain old normal. That was it. Nothing was happening. Everything was stable, that's what was different. Something always happened. That was what was scaring me. Things were slowing down. I even started wondering if I should throw myself off of the roof. I must have been losing my mind, because I almost did. I figured something had to happen or I would go nuts. I went down the fire escape and then, really fast-faster than you could ever imagine- I got shot. There was a crack then a stabbing pain in my stomach. I looked down and saw blood gushing from the hole. I started forward. Every step was agonizing. I was really bleeding out, and I couldn't stop it. I don't know how, but I managed to get to Carly's house. I knocked on the door. I blacked out before anyone could answer. I was stuck there, frozen, open to anyone who happened to find me.

I did something I wasn't expecting, I woke up. I was. . . I thought about it for a second, I didn't know where I was. I sat up, then laid back down quickly. The pain in my stomach was worse than before. I sat there, in intense pain. I'd been stabbed twelve times before, badly. That didn't even come close to how much this was hurting me. I was sweating something fierce and kept my teeth ground together. If I didn't I would be screaming. Finally the pain went away a bit. I looked around and noticed Carly sitting there, crying. She looked at me; her eyes were green. They weren't ever that color around me. The last time I saw her eyes like that we had seen one of her last boyfriends at the bowling alley. I guess she was sad about something when that happened, her eyes being green, I mean. She wiped off her eyes. I tried smiling at her, but it was hard. She looked really upset, more upset than when I got beat up. I guess she thought I was gonna die. Hell, I even thought I was going to die.

"Hey." I said weakly. "How's life?"

"Just fine. I found my boyfriend, in the middle of the night, half dead, on my porch. But, everything's fine." She was crying again.

"Calm down. I ain't dead yet." I took her hand.

She did what I told her and calmed down. She stopped crying and her eyes went back to that purple that they always were around me. Mike and John came in. I didn't know where they came from, but I was glad to see them.

"Hey y'all" I said. John looked startled to see me like this. I hadn't been to the hospital where I had to stay before. I had to be a good influence, that meant staying alive.

"Hey man." Mike said. I guess he'd never seen me hurt this bad either, because he was looking at me like I was gonna die any second.

"Would you stop looking at me like that. What? Did the doc give me a week to live or something?" I said.

"No." John said. "I'm just a little worried."

This was John talking. The little John who never admitted to being scared of anything. He was worried. They all had that weird look on their faces, as if I was gonna explode. I felt fine, if I wasn't moving. So, what was the big deal?

I smiled and looked at them. "You have a cigarette?" I asked Mike.

He grinned, lit one and handed it to me. I looked up at the lights, the smoke was turning it all sorts of colors. One of the nurses came in.

"Sir," She said softly. "You can't smoke in here."

"Why not? I'm a patient right?"

"Yes, you are, but-"

"And this is medicine." I said, taking another drag on my cigarette.

I went home that night. They said I had to stay in bed a few days. I didn't mind. Better at home, in my own bed, than in some hospital, where I couldn't even smoke. I'm glad they didn't recognize me from before, I guess 'cause I gave my real name this time.

Two months later I went over to Carly's house, said she had to tell me something. We was really serious by then. Even went all the way, but it wasn't like I did with other girls. It was different somehow. She was watching through the window. I looked over. This time it was just John with some of his friends, fighting, as usual. They didn't see us. If they did, they were pretty good at pretending they didn't. He and his friends loved an audience when they fought, it was how their older siblings fought, and they wanted to be just like us.

We watched them fight. Those little punks almost got their heads busted acting so damn cocky though. These huge guys came by. They were far from their own turf. I think they called themselves the Shepard gang. They were four guys. Those kids outnumbered them though. Only by one but they still outnumbered them. But, like I said before, they fought really sloppily. I recognized the two in front. They were Thomas and Russel Shepard. It was Tom's gang but they led it together.

They moved forward. Those idiot kids were standing their ground. They were complete morons but they had guts. Pretty soon they would be all over that street if they didn't move soon. The Shepard gang moved closer, again those kids didn't move. The Shepards took a step back for a second as if they expected some secret attack. They looked around the windows and saw me and Carly watching.

Tom said something to those kids. They looked up at the window. I wanted to yell at them how stupid that was, turning their backs, but I stayed silent. I nodded slightly. John understood that this meant we were ready to jump in when needed. He nodded back and turned back to the Shepard gang. They must have thought that we were just watching because they all turned back to face each other. But John knew. The Shepard gang proceeded and pretty soon they were going at it. I was wondering what kind of gang went after kids but I watched intently, waiting for John's signal. All of a sudden he kicked the wall and turned back to the fight. That was the signal. Me and Carly were down there in a second.

Wait." Carly said suddenly. "I can't fight."

"Why not?" I asked, shocked. She never turned down a good fight, and this was going to be a good one.

"That's what I had to talk to you about."

"Can we talk later?" I asked, not wanting to watch my brother and idiot friends get killed. Her eyes went red-they were never that color around me- and we went outside.

John and two of his other buddies were lying on the ground, bruised and cut up. Russel got up. He had a bruise on his cheek. No doubt he wouldn't say that some thirteen year old put it there. The Shepard gang only had a few scratches. Nothing major. They were ganging up on Phil and Steve. The only reason they were still alive is cause I taught them how to fight. They were still learning but they held out. Me and Carly each took one of them from behind. One of the guys I didn't know ran. Then Phil and Steve took down the remaining guy. There was a rush of adrenaline. It must have been added on with stupidity because I was fighting Tom. Carly and Russel were having it out and Phil and Steve had already taken that other guy down.

Russel obviously didn't feel bad about fighting a girl. I knew he felt bad about missing easy hits though. Tom had pulled out his switchblade. I was trying to find something to use while not getting sliced up. It's harder than it sounds. I finally found a piece of pipe but it was far. Too far for me to turn to get it. That would've been a death sentence.

I saw out of the corner of my eye, Carly and Russel, shaking hands. I knew this trick. Carly did that on me when we met. She went his way, because I heard him saying he didn't want to hurt no girl so she gave in. She said okay and they shook hands. I could see Russel holding his other hand behind his back, clutching his switchblade. He didn't get to use it though. Before he could do anything, Carly took a firm hold on his hand and twisted it behind his back. She shoved him roughly onto the ground and sat on his back, not letting go of either of his hands. She would've broken his arms if any of us made the call. He dropped his blade during the mix up and spotted it lying ten feet away. He kept trying to move but Carly only held on harder, she was a lot stronger than she looked.

"Alright, alright." Russel said. "You made your point, I give."

Tom looked at his brother disbelievingly. His head was turned. I figured he would be smarter. I seized the opportunity and punched him as hard as I could. He would have gone down, if he was anyone but Tom Shepard. The blow threw him off a few feet, but he was still up. He started to walk away. That wasn't anything like him. He would fight to the death if he came out on top. Something was coming. Something none of us ever dreamed would happen again. A rumble. Russel watched his brother leave, Carly was still holding onto him.

"Should I let him go or break his arms?" She said, jerking at his arms.

"Let him go." I said.

I heard her whisper, "Next time." then lift him up and push him along. That other guy he came with was inching away. We all saw him but I didn't really care.

Carly was trying to wake some of those other kids. One of them started waking up and Phil went over to him. Talking in a low voice. Steve went over to another one who woke up. Carly was knelt down by the John. I went over by them. He didn't wake up yet.

You'd better believe people were scared of me after that. I beat Tom Shepard. I did the impossible. I gave credit to Carly and those kids but everyone hears what they want. I went into Kevin's dad's bar. Everything went silent. You'd swear I was an axe murderer or something. I sat on a barstool. Kevin appeared after a minute. He looked half afraid of me. We'd been friends for years and I never caused him any trouble, why did he look scared?

"What'll you have?" He asked.

"Beer." I said.

I almost forgot about my I.D. I started pulling it out of my back pocket. I didn't know what he thought I was taking out because he backed up a little. A flashed out the I.D. card and showed it to him. He calmed down a bit.

"Sorry, man." He said, his ears turning red. "I'm a little on edge these days. I heard you beat Shepard."

"Not alone. Everybody keeps saying I did it alone." Usually, I don't mind a little white lie to up my image, but that was just a flat out lie.

"Oh, alright." He said, as if he didn't believe me. I didn't blame him, I wouldn't believe me, after all the lies I've told. I didn't stay too long. People were looking at me funny, as if I was gonna go off any second.

"Isn't this what you wanted all along? To be the toughest guy in the neighborhood?" Carly said when I told her what happened.

"Not like this. And once Tim hears I'm not gonna be around much longer to enjoy it."

"Yeah, you will. Remember, you beat the whole Shepard gang."

She was teasing me about it now. I smiled anyway.

I woke up pretty early the next morning. I watched John leave for school a few hours after then went out. I dropped out of school a year before. It was a waste of money and time, as far as I was concerned. I thought I would head to Mike's house. We're best buddies. I can't remember when we weren't. We did a lot of stuff together. I was walking along his block when I saw a pool of blood, and drag marks and hand prints in blood leading away from it. It looked like it was heading for Mike's house. I followed the trail, dreading what I'd find at the end. I found the end. It was right in front of Mike's house. There was somebody laying there. I turned him over to see his face. He was beaten so badly it would be impossible to make out who it was with just their face to go by. I looked him over. The clothes seemed familiar, it was exactly what Mike had been wearing the night before. It was him! I lifted him up. I could tell by the way he was breathing that it was hurting him to be moved but I couldn't leave him out here. I brought him inside and set him on the couch. I was sitting by his side waiting for him to wake up. His mom came out with a baby in her arms. The newest addition to their family, she was born a month ago. His mom went back inside a room then came back out without the baby. She knelt down next to me. I didn't know wether or not she heard those stories about me. She looked at me. Sizing me up them half smiled. She must have heard the stories. I could tell she didn't think they were true. She looked at Mike. I could tell from the look on her face that she didn't even recognize her own son. She looked at his clothes then held one hand over her mouth, as if she would scream out loud otherwise. We were both sitting there waiting for him to wake up.

Finally late that afternoon when all his brothers and sisters were home, Mike moved. Everyone was waiting to hear what happened. He groaned a bit. His face was too swollen for him to see us but he could hear our voices.

"Mike?" I asked. "Come on buddy, wake up." I almost cried when he didn't answer for a while. In a whisper he said. "Anthony?"

"Yeah, I'm here. Do you want to go to the doctor or something?"

I think he was trying to shake his head because he turned his head but he didn't turn it back to the ceiling. I don't think he could.

"Five huge guys," He said, gasping. "They got me and . . . and . . ."

"It's alright, man. They ain't gonna hurt you no more."

He was lying there weakly, breathing lightly. I went home another hour after he woke up.

I thought to myself. This is how it used to be. We would find each other half dead at each others houses. That was because of those socs driving around town, looking for somebody to kill. Seems like everybody's leaving now. Everything's different. Most of my older friends were in the cooler for smoking pot. Mike was one of the only friends I had left that didn't. I told John if I caught him doing that stuff I would kill him. If he ever did that I might even stoop to dad's level and hit him. I was hoping it wouldn't come to that though. John's a good kid. I thought. He's a good kid. That was the first time that I really worried about him. He handled himself alright when I wasn't there but those new drugs like grass or acid get me shook.

My mind kept racing through all different scenarios. People I love, dying. John, Carly, Mike. This is why I liked it when things happened. My mind tried to kill me if nothing was there to focus on. What's wrong with me? I thought. I never worry. I'm Anthony fucking Carter. Nothing ever bothers me. . . or nothing used to.

"Is he alright?" John asked, when I told him what happened to Mike.

"He will be." I said. I was still upset about it.

I stayed quiet that night. I didn't go to Carly's like I told her I would. John was looking at me strangely. I wondered if he noticed how weird I'd been acting. It was like that for weeks. I went to see Mike every day. He was healing up alright but he wouldn't leave the house. It didn't seem like him anymore. He was always nervous and scared. That was the first time I didn't see him as the same hot tempered guy I always hung with. Carly was almost as worried about him as I was. Life seemed to be passing me by. I was always one of the toughest guys in the neighborhood. Some people would look at me like they were scared of me. Now I didn't bother returning dirty looks to people I didn't know. John knew a simple cure, a good drink. I hadn't had alcohol in weeks and he thought I actually needed it now. I drank a lot, and that made me happy, cheered me up pretty quick. I went over to Mike's. He seemed a lot happier that night too and wanted to go out. We went downtown into a few bars, had a good fight with these guys we mouthed off to. A good time. He still had that scared look in his eyes. He had never been beaten bad enough for that to happen. He had always been too fast a runner or too good a fighter to be beaten like that. I still wondered what had happened for him to get caught but put it at the back of my mind and tried to have a good time.

The rumble wasn't anything like I remembered them. I hadn't been in one for years. Almost all the people I used to fight with couldn't be there. Mike was there, and John and his little friends were there. Carly said that she couldn't though. She had been acting really strange lately. Kevin didn't want to be there, but he was. Mostly because he was still scared of me. Charlie said that there was no way he would act afraid of me so he came in spite of me, but he came.

Shepard brought some of his friends too. I recognized a few in the front. Phillip and Skip Curtis. They looked an awful lot alike. Real handsome. They didn't look exactly like most hoods. I heard that Skip even dug sunsets. They were a weird bunch, alright, but they were good fighters. I heard they're a real challenge. I'd met them before. They were buddies of mine. They seemed surprised to see me and even talked to me before. It was against some stupid rule but Skip said something that made everybody shut up. They had a brother, I remembered, Darrel. He had a wife and two kids now so he couldn't come.

We steered clear of each other when it started. Everyone expected me to go after Tom, and I'm not one to disappoint so I did. Weapons were aloud. I was dodging chains and blades and whatever else people were throwing around. I got to Tom. He had me down in a second. I wasn't surprised. I even expected it. He was just about to slice me open, gut to throat but something stopped him. There was a siren starting to ring in my ears. It grew louder and Shepard jumped off of me. But, not before getting me in the arm with that knife of his. I got up and everybody left. It was an empty lot again. I was running away from there when I noticed that John wasn't following me. I looked back and saw him being carted away with the cops with some of his friends. I stopped in the middle of the street, almost got run over, then started walking to the police station. I told him to stay out of trouble but that kid was always so damn cocky. I got there and they said they wouldn't let them go.

There was a sentencing later. A year in prison for assaulting an officer and violent conduct. I went to see him every other day. After he was there for three months I noticed something about Carly. She never wanted to go out anymore. When we did she wouldn't drink any alcohol and she seemed more moody than usual. Her clothes weren't fitting quite right on her any more. She still hadn't told me what she was going to tell me months before but I think I already knew. She was pregnant. I asked her about it and she half smiled.

"Yeah. I tried telling you before. That's why I couldn't be in the rumble."

I sat back in the chair and thought about that. She was gonna have a kid. I thought about this neighborhood. This wasn't any place for a child to be born into. Being a child who was, I should know.

"We gotta get out of here. Go somewhere safe." I said.

"What about John and those other kids? They'll wonder where you went." She said simply.

I remembered now. John was still in jail. He would be out in a few months. It would be too late to move then. I decided that we would stay. She had already told her parents and they wanted to talk to me. They were questioning me. Saying usual questions you ask your daughters boyfriend but they were eying me suspiciously. I had gotten out of there alive, so I figured it was safe to go back.

I called the prison one day before John's release date. He said he was walking home. I guessed he would have to find out on his own. I was watching the baby. He was a cute one. Had strange eyes though, they were yellow. He didn't have hair yet. Carly wasn't home yet. Both me and Carly worked part time.

The next day John came through the door. He saw me standing around, holding the baby.

"Who's is that?" He asked, looking at the baby.

"It's mine, kid."

"And who's?"

"What do you mean? Me and Carly. You were right when you said we would have a kid soon."

He would watch us sometimes and say that we were gonna get married and have a kid before we turned twenty. He had an extra sense about that stuff.

"Wow." He said. "I was joking. He's cute though."

I looked more closely at John. He seemed a lot rougher than a year before. He was hardened. He wouldn't be that vibrant little puppy anymore. He was more like a dog now. Hard, rough, but I could see a bit of that puppy still left in his eyes. He was an adult now. That's how I saw it. All of my buddies had been arrested once, then hardened from those innocent kids who thought fighting was fun to those adults and teens who would die trying to defend their street. Like Kevin and Charlie.

Carly came home. We had both moved in together. It was either that or go in between our houses to take care of that kid. That wouldn't work. We hadn't named him yet.

"Looks like a Mark to me." John said.

"Yeah, alright." I said.

Carly nodded and tickled the baby. He was laughing like crazy. Everything seemed pretty alright from then on.

Up until one night, years later. I got fired from my job. I came home really drunk that night. I heard Mark coming in. He was annoying the hell out of me.

"Daddy, where were you? Will you read me a story? Why's the sky blue? . ."

If I had to take another one of his stupid questions, I was gonna hurt him. After he asked some more, I did. I smacked him right across his face. His cheek was red when he got up. The anger that flared up in me died away quickly when I realized what I'd done. I picked him up quickly and apologized a thousand times. He ran into his room, still crying. I went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. I saw someone I never wanted to see again, dad. I grew up to look just like him. No matter how much I hate the guy, I had to admit, he was handsome. I looked pretty alright, for my age.

I hit Mark again, a lot of times when he pissed me off. I never hurt Carly, we fought a lot though. Mark had gold hair and eyes to match. I don't know where he got it though, me and Carly had dark hair. One night we had a few drinks and I confronted her about it.

"I don't care." I yelled. "I ain't never seen a kid with eyes that color. Nobody on my side of the family has eyes that color- not on yours either."

"That's right." Carly yelled. We were out on the porch. "Why should he look like anybody in your family? He ain't yours." She said scornfully. We said some other stuff, things we usually wouldn't. Anger built up inside me and I shot her. She sank to her knees then pulled out a gun. Everything went dark. I didn't wake up this time.

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I know, I know. That's not the outsiders. It's 'That Was Then, This Is Now.' It's the story of Mark's dad. Anthony. Since they never said Mark's last name I figured it might as well be Carter.

Tell me what you think.


End file.
